Half-Bucket List

In 2013 I will turn 40.  Unless I die first, in which case I will not turn 40.

I think I'd rather turn 40.

Anyway, since turning 40 puts you in "mid-life" I thought I would start working on a list of things I would like to do before the end of my fortieth year.  For those of you who don't like fractions, let me explain.

My life is statistically half over, I am working on a half-bucket list. I would like this list to include things to do before the end of 2013. 40 years, 40 things, half a life, half a bucket.

So, I thought I'd ask friends and loved-ones to help me populate the list. I get final veto authority, but YOU get a souvenir or memento if your suggestion makes the list and I actually do that thing.

So fire away, brave souls. I'll be your huckleberry.

Visit the list here. (http://scottbarger.blogspot.com/p/the-list.html)

Real Men Read Greek and Listen to Sigur Rós

I have noticed a trend in the church industry lately.  A trend away from the decidedly feminine character of most of our churches. A trend towards a more masculine iteration of church. A trend away from pink towards, not blue, but camouflage green.  A trend away from emotive and sentimental appeals to relate to Jesus towards prophetic challenges to do more good. 

It is a man trend.

A few years back someone realized that our churches were getting a bit light in the loafers and decided to man up the operation a bit. I am not sure who was first, but there are many who seem to have followed suit. 

Mark Driscoll is a good example.  Just watch the guy preach sometime - his style is aggressive, challenging, and dripping in alpha male swagger.  He gives me the feeling that he is one breath from walking down off the platform and actually kicking someone’s ass.

What a man.

As with most church trends, those embracing the movement will appeal to scripture to show why they do what they do (and why you should do what they do, too). The bible champions masculinity, God made men to be leaders, warriors, conquerors. This is why we love sports, have muscles, eat meat.  Why would God give us balls if he didn’t want us to use them? He wouldn’t. So there.

I agree with most of this. It is frustrating to see men becoming less interested in church, acquiescing strength and giving up on leadership.  Our churches have changed because of this, to be sure, and not all of this change has been good. I agree that our churches ought to reach out to all people, including men. Our sermons ought to be engaging, our worship authentic, our fellowship meaningful for all kinds of people.

But how do we do this?

Some seem to think that we should lose the girly decor in favor of something more manly. Read this from a guy who works at one of the many mega-churches in our area:

“When you step into the lobbies, the decor is industrial rather than floral (as a matter of fact, the only time we have used flowers to decorate was for 3 weeks during a series for women called "Daughters") .”

Real men don’t like flowers.

Later he goes on to say, “(Our) entire male staff competed in a 12 mile special ops obstacle race called ‘TOUGH MUDDER’- leading the way for other men to step up and take on the challenge as well.”

Real men are athletic and competitive. So we reach them by giving them an outlet to express their biblical man urge to conquer something or someone.

I understand why churches like these are doing what they do, I agree with it...mostly. Something about it bothers me. It bothers me because it seems like we are embracing a caricature of masculinity and promoting it as though it were a biblical mandate.

What does this say to the people in our churches? What if I am not athletic or competitive? Am I not a real man? Or worse, am I not a good man?

I think it’s possible that in a well motivated attempt to reconnect with Christian men, we have inadvertently promoted a version of masculinity that is too narrow and, for some men, unattainable.

I do not have to be a growling, highly competitive sportsman who bags the buck and the babe in order to be a good, Christian man.

I do not have to enjoy competition to be a real man.  I can be a real man and despise competition. My son is this way, and I think he is more noble because of it.

I do not have to hunt, hike, wrestle, fight, play in the mud, shoot stuff, hit stuff, break stuff, conquer my competition, vanquish my foes, or ravish my wife in order to be a real man.

Furthermore, I think it is dangerous for our churches to assume that real men do (or ought to) behave this way.

So in order to take a little momentum off of the testosterone laden pendulum, let me offer up a short list of some of the things real men do:

Real men learn how to fail with dignity.
Real men value learning and growth.
Real men practice contentment and humility.
Real men learn to go without.
Real men lead by serving.
Real men pursue wisdom.
Real men appreciate subtlety, nuance, and discretion.
Real men enjoy beauty.
Real men know how to be strong and weak.

Interestingly enough, my list of what “real women” do is identical.